What a tiring day today. Ok, I kind of got back into the "studies is important" mode. Well, which means more stress yet again. Today, people just seemed to be getting on my nerves. They are either making LOTS of unnecessary noise, or they just give me the wrong attitude. Knowing myself, I was like this close to releasing the demon again. Thank god I didnt. And it was by pure luck. Well at least when I was in that state of getting angry, I thought about how some people had reminded me earlier on to keep my anger in check. And so I did. Maybe it helped to some extent at least. I dont expect a pat on my back though. The demon inside continues to sneer at me.

Yet, it just feels so regretful. Oh, the satisfaction I would get if I were to just shut up those people straight in the face. FEAR me for all I care. Irritating noise pierces through all my nerves into the brain and acts as the driving power of the demon. Today was a lucky day for those people I guess. Hopefully the same thing wont repeat itself.The 1st half of the day was so negative. Things got slightly better later. Cause I occupied myself with homework. No matter how clear I am of the negative consequences, which angry person would care about anything else while he's angry? Of course I know its wrong. Of course I know why its bad. Yet at times it just feels necessary to let things out. Too bad my most effective way is to start going berserk. But well today's over. Time to forget about it and to move on. Any improvement no matter how small counts.

Today, I got back my bio test. Haiz, as expected I still got a long way to go. 16/45 , an O Grade. This time I surely put in effort, but well, its recognised by all its a long and difficult road to climb up the ladder to success once you dropped to rock bottom once. So MORE EFFORT!! But to be honest I'm quite demoralised also lah. Even though I surely gained some confidence with my own efforts. Starting to feel so tired again... But well people seem to be quite supportive of me. There's a little sign of hope within me I guess. But its not strong enough to support me yet. To increase my confidence, I will need to put in more effort, and convince myself with results. Though of course, the motto " You reap what you sow" doesnt apply all the time. Some people keep putting in effort but gain nothing, and the disappointment becomes even bigger. Its a risky bet I guess.

Argh...headache sia. I need to relax. Yet again, I cant. Argh...