Wah haha. Finally a post. Phew. What a relief. Mid Years is finally over. Officially. Well this Mid Years definitely taught me some new lessons about myself again. Its a good thing to feel and know that I did learn more about myself. Only by going through hardship do people really start to understand themselves better. Another repeat of the vicious cycle, another chance taken to understand my inner feelings and such even better.

Well, of course, if I were to state out every single thing that happened to me this time round, it would be a REALLY really long story. If you know me well enough haha. Not because its a one month gap, but every little negative event that happens to me creates a big impact on myself I guess.

I believe that I am able to become more focussed after this Mid Years. Whatever the result may be, I shall take it like a man. Its not like I didnt try to put in any effort this time round. But I believe at times the disappointment of not reaping what you sow can be so great. But do we have time to be bothered by these things? Yes, fears are always there. But you just have to convince yourself to get over those fears. Getting all scared at the last moment definitely wont make things work out no matter how worried you get.

Somehow things felt differently this time. Discovering new fears, being reminded of old weaknesses, and also fortunately, managing to discover new solutions. Thanks to the support of those who cared for me haha. I definitely couldnt do it alone. Currently, I know definitely have to depend on others, even though I still feel pai seh about stuff like that. But some day I hope that others will be able to depend on me as well. Just as they have supported me, I shall support them back wholeheartedly. In a sense to repay the debt of gratitude that I owe all those people. Thank you all. And please continue to help me out as well eh? Haha.

During this weekend, I shouldnt be spending all of it on games and slacking etc haha. I made a promise to myself to do some reflections and write down what improvements can be done and what lessons I have learnt. So that the next time round, if those troubles come back again, at least I will have some preparation to tackle them.

Mid Year Exam is over. But the long journey we all take still isnt over. Remember that. Dont lose your drive now people, haha. Its so easy to lose confidence in one's self. But life is about overcoming challenges anyway. We all know its a tough journey ahead, so why bother worrying about why things are hard in the first place? Been there, done that, so just continue to persevere on. Life isnt always about feeling bad about yourself. Well for me, understanding what makes myself tick helps a lot. Understand what truely motivates you in life then decide what plans you wish to make. For me, just floating aimlessly just doesnt help a bit at all. Self-motivation has a big part to play when you're studying anyways. People cant always be there to remind you or force you to study. No wonder people always say its so much easier to study a subject when you have a passion and interest for it. Its easier to focus when you know what motivates you I guess. And you wont suddenly switch mood someday and wonder why the whole world is starting to crumbling down on you.

Being occupied with work and just constantly doing work just because there's a need for it is definitely different from knowing why you are doing it in the first place. But of course different people have their own different forms of motivation. Its just my opinion from my own experience I guess.

As for mentioning other mundane events, next time maybe.

This weekend, I shall finally get some exercise too. And organise my thoughts again to be mentally prepared to continue the long journey and endless battle with myself.

"God does not help those who do not depend on themselves" after all. And so I must believe in myself.

Cya everyone.