Yo everyone, I'm blogging again. Dont worry, this time round I aint angry about stuff again. I just need to mention some things again.

Somehow, everytime I go through periods of like intense stress, there always comes a day when I realise, I was being a dumb person after all thinking about all that. I am also starting to become aware of that viscious cycle that is coming to control my feelings and mood. Or rather, realising the new weakness that I have experienced through.

I also believe in the idea that "Men should shed blood, not tears." And so...whenever I shed tears, there must be a very good reason for that to have happened. At least at the end of the day I gain a greater understanding of myself. So far, I can guess that I cry mainly for 2 reasons. Of course, just like anyone else, who doesnt cry over stress? But there's a more special kind of feeling that I feel at times. The times when I am relieved and yet I still cry. Its a mix of happiness and sadness.

Of course, I remember not to keep myself 100% happy and remind myself of the difficult journey ahead in order not to repeat my mistakes. These few days I have started to over-slack again -_-

I have started to slowly begin to understand what kind of approach I shall take to go through this difficult journey. It was with no doubt earned through lots of hardship and struggles, and all the more I should treasure what I have learnt.

This message is to all my friends who have shown support for me in these times of need. Honestly, I do not know how to repay you all. It is difficult to express in words the gratitude I feel. But as I have always swore to myself, I shall respect always those who have respected me back. With such support, I know and promise, that if there ever comes a time where those inner demons start to set in, I shall conqueur them and move on. There are people who I cannot let down, and goals that I must achieve. Ultimately, I dont want to disappoint and worry others, truly earning that respect I always wanted. Self-respect.

Being angry is a weakness. Purposely making myself angry doesnt justify anything and is still a weakness. Since I cant stay angry forever, I should take the other approach, but make improvements which make sure I dont repeat my same mistakes.

Time to do away with things like "I hate myself, therefore I must get results". Now is, " I have support from people who care about me, therefore I must not disappoint them."

For the next coming weeks, I shall see what I am capable of. I finally see a ray of hope. I must work hard.