Monday, May 15, 2006



Alamak... Need to let things out again. At the same time I need to explain myself about some issues.

Firstly, I am so sorry if I offended everyone today. : ( My temper is getting out of control yet again. At least its not in bursts of shouting or stuff like that. BUT, I did lash out today at people too. That makes me feel even more worried and sad. Rather than just letting out my anger like what I always do, I'm starting to vent my anger on people and hurt them. Another reason to hate myself. -_-

I feel that I'm just tired. At least from these few weeks, I have concluded that:

Tiredness= An increase in tendency to become angry.
Tiredness=Increase in tendency to think negative thoughts


Today was yet another busy day for me. Yes, no breaks non-stop for the whole day. I'm just mentally exhausted but I dont show it through action. It goes to my head directly and makes me so frustrated even more easily. Even now, I can sense that I'm so drained out. Argh and there's maths test tmr. I can predict that I'm gonna fail it tmr. This weekend round I did some work at the expense of my revision. Lousy time management again.

For my friends who have shown me support, I sincerely thank you all. From the bottom of my heart. In these times of need, I really appreciate all the help and concern I can get. I believe even just a simple "How ya been dude?" makes my heart contented. I just need to know that there's people who support me, and I shall not let them down. I never want to let them down. Letting them down, is letting myself down as well. Letting down my own principles. Since people believe in me, there's no way I should disappoint them.

I always remind myself of the bad situation I'm currently in. I'm not that selfish to feel as if the worst person in the whole wide world is me, but I believe I should always think of myself first before I compare myself to others. If I cant even handle myself, how to help others? Let alone comfort myself by saying I'm not the worst yet.

Work hard, work harder, work hardest.
I need advice and help. Lots of it. Just as what Mr Hanis told me when I met and chatted him today, there's no time for me to still be groping in the darkness. I need a clear view and idea of what path I am taking. That's so true.

Lets see how the rest of the week goes... I think I'm too desperate and lost that I just keep trying every kind of method to see if things work. Even if they are harmful.

I may be lost, but at least I am clear of what I want. My goals have never changed and will never change as well.


Zhiming @ 8:53 AM.

About Myself

Huang Zhiming
Age 18
Birthday 21st January 1988
NYJC Student
Class 05S10A
28th Student Council
Aesthetico

Important Words

1.Priorities!
2.Planning!
3.Discipline!
4.Determination!

Mottos I Believe In

1.God does not help those who do not help themselves...

2.You reap what you sow.

Favorite Anime

Fushigi Yuugi
Rurouni Kenshin
Flame Of Recca
Inuyasha
Grander Musashi
Detective Conan
Hunter X Hunter
Naruto
Hikaru No Go
Full Metal Alchemist
And many more...

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