Saturday, September 30, 2006
Oh well... Everyone has finally reached the final scretch in JC... The last stage, A levels.
Just as Mr Kwek says, reflect, restrategise, and reinforce. Well, everyone has their own studying plans and styles after all.
Its quite strange that its only now that I find it more effective to depend on my friends to kind of "tutor" me one to one for my revision. Seems quite effective for chem revision so far. Thanks for helping me out guys. Will need your continued support for the following month to come. And I hope I'll be helping you guys out as well. =)
Finally, I'm slowly but surely gaining more confidence in myself. Now its time to quicken the pace of things. Confidence really means a lot to me... I guess its one of my greatest weaknesses. Well, this time there's no more giving excuses about not preparing enough for exams.
The final crucial month.
After A's, everyone's new journey continues. Hopefully everyone walks a path that they want to.
To everyone, just believe in what you believe in.
As for me, I must remind myself that self-doubt is self-destruction.
I believe in my own power. Time to finally achieve results. Time to reap everything I sowed.
No regrets.
All the best. May everyone's wishes be fulfilled.
Zhiming @ 10:15 PM.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Haiz... Must have been not having enough sleep. The vicious cycle returns again.
People always want to change. But its such a difficult thing to do, that needs endless amounts of courage and determination and of course, effort.
People are the ones who control their emotions, not the environment.
But at times you wonder, are you being realistic enough about your goals? Or are you being too hopeful and just self-deceiving yourself?
An obstacle is always an obstacle, as long as you think that it is one you can never overcome.
The same goals. The same promises. The same obstacles. The same disappointment. The same desires.
In the end, I must only stick to what I believe in. And by doing so I believe I'll reach some of those goals eventually.
I must.
How can others help you when you dont even want to help yourself, and when you're not even determined enough. If you fail, it just means you werent determined enough.
At least, I do not want to have any regrets. I must be accountable to myself.
Back to square one.
The results shall determine everything. Enough said.
Zhiming @ 4:36 PM.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Ah yes.... Finally an update. So many things have happened, but they all dont need to be updated about. Besides, recently I have been staying for night study program at school till super late and there's no point in me wasting extra energy on blogging.
Well, today I finally felt like spending some time on this... in order to organise my feelings better I guess.
I'll try to keep things as short as possible though. I think.
Firstly, somehow as I sit here at my com doing reflection... Things seems as though they never happened haha... Strange feeling. What a difference in atmosphere I guess.
Well today, I attended a church service for the first time.... Lol. I surprised even myself this time round... Luckily I wasn't alone so I didnt end up feeling as awkward as I would have felt I would.
Today's experience on the overall feels quite ok but shocking.... I was like playing board games at Settlers cafe at one point, to suddenly becoming overwhelmed by the atmosphere in the church auditorium later...
My brain was like in overdrive trying to decide and control those feelings within me. Though I knew within myself before I even stepped into that place, that I strongly believed in my own personal values. And that I wouldn't allow them to be changed at this point of time. So I went in and tried to be as open-minded as possible. Though I still have some doubts definitely, but at least I stayed through the whole event... Which was quite surprising to me myself as well. Can't blame me for having so many uncertainties since its my first time.
But at least I can say I'm not as ignorant as before... Experience wise that is.
Well, I did my best to be as respectful to the others as possible... Even though I did feel bad and "out of place". Well, my view is that if I were to follow what they were doing, I should be 100% convinced, otherwise there's no point in me doing it and being a hypocrite.
I must mention that the church people were especially friendly towards us though... And that the end of the day, though things did feel awkward for me here and there, I wasn't forced into doing anything I didnt like to do. And I managed to meet a few new people here and there, since they're so friendly, why shouldn't I be the same? Well, its my same old logic of showing respect I guess haha... See what I mean of my own personal values being strengthened again? Maybe I did benefit afterall. And I definitely won't say that its a completely bad experience. That would be unfair. Different people believe in different things after all.
I'm not trying to debate about religion or anything... and I have no intention of being blasphemous in anyway either.
I just felt, hey I haven't felt so different like this in ages... So should mention a bit about it.
In a way, my respect of my Christian friends has increased a little I guess. I don't make friends based on seeing what religion they are of after all, I see who they are as people, and their character.
Somethings like that... As for the rest of the thinking, I won't mention here haha. Time to continue working hard on studies tomorrow!!!
Jia you everyone... Don't lose faith in yourself...and what values you believe in.
What a long and tiring day... But an even longer journey ahead. Endure.
Zhiming @ 10:42 PM.
